Toddlers and “The Terrible Twos” – Understanding and Help for Parents

A number of years ago, shortly after my son was born, I was warned by various friends of mine who were also parents, about the dreaded terrible twos. Unfortunately for me, the terrible twos later became the terrible threes, fours, fives etc. but that’s the topic of another article! The terrible twos is probably best described as your toddler saying ‘no’ to most everything and throwing frequent temper tantrums.


It’s important that you as a parent realize that this is a perfectly normal and expected stage of your toddler’s development. He or she is beginning to try to establish independence and just hasn’t yet acquired the communication skills necessary. The best your two year old can manage at this point is to yell ‘no’ and maybe a little kicking and screaming thrown in to make their point.

Here are some ideas to help both you and your toddler get through the terrible twos and avoid more conflict than necessary:

• Establish routines and apply them consistently

• Limited choices give them a feeling like they are in power without allowing bad choices

• Set limits

• Don’t give in to tantrums

• Use of time-outs as a means of discipline

• Set up your house so your toddler can explore safely

Every parent can learn good parenting skills with a little guidance and practice. I will continue to add more content on this subject with future posts. Let me know what your experiences have been like!

Want To End Outbursts and Temper Tantrums For Good?

I spend a lot of time on Internet Parenting Forums and have had many a discussion with other parents regarding temper tantrums from their kids. And I mean, these parents are FRUSTRATED! We aren't talking about the occasional tantrum that every kid throws from time to time. These parents have described constant public exhibitions of screaming, hitting, kicking, biting and on and on. I can relate because I have experienced it myself. It causes stress on the whole family and can even take a toll on your marriage.

Well, I've got some good news. I learned recently about a very simple program that quite a number of parents are having tremendous success with. It has absolutely transformed their entire families and all but eliminated the problem behaviors in their kids. Many of these parents said they had tried counseling, medications, and very expensive products they found on the internet but had not had much success. This program changed everything for them!

I wanted to pass this information on to you because I know what it's like to feel completely at a loss on how to handle temper tantrums and all of the negative behaviors that go with them. It's embarassing and frustrating at the least, and it was really causing problems in  my family. Here is a fantastic resource for all parents who want to end the tantrums and get back to a healthy and happy household.

Defiant Teens - Common Sense Parenting Tips

Parenting is not easy and parenting a teenager in particular takes hard work, determination and a little know-how. I've spent a few years making lots of mistakes until I finally began to learn that there is no magic wand to parenting and there are no shortcuts. Everyone has the ability to improve their parenting skills. The following are some great common sense parenting tips for teen parenting that will not only help them mature, but help you mature as well:


• Don't sweat the small stuff. There is an old saying about choosing battles wisely. It doesn't have to be a battle. Just decide if something is worth worrying about and if it isn't, then let it go! A teenager's messy room might be cramping your style a bit but probably isn't worth a big knock-down-drag-out. A significant issue like drinking or drugs is far more worthy of addressing.

• Encourage them to bring friends home. It shows you are making an effort to meet their friends, even the ones you might not like or have concerns about. It also has a way of helping to weed out the good friends from the ones who aren't so good to be hanging around.

• Cut your teen a little slack.Your teenager is obviously growing up, at least in some sense of the word. They are trying to figure out what their identity is and gain an understanding of their place in the world. Be willing to give them this chance and allow a bit of leeway or room.

• Stay on the same page. There should be a clear understanding between parents and children as to what the rules are, and the consequences for breaking those rules. This helps to avoid one parent saying one thing, and the other parent saying something different.

• Know where your teenager is at. The older they are the more time away they should be allowed, but this should be in direct proportion to how responsible they have been with their freedom. However, they should absolutely be required to check in to let you know where they are and who they are with.

• Don't shy away from the hard discussions. There are a number of topics that you should discuss with your teenager, such as drinking, drugs, sex, pregnancy etc. and stress the consequences of bad decisions. Offer your help and support if they are in trouble or in any type of dangerous situation.

• Be a good role model. Most importantly, teenagers are learning from their parents and will be better equipped to make good sound decisions if they see by your example that you make good sound decisions.

Defiant & Angry Children - Some Simple Parenting Advice

If you are like many parents, you are absolutely at a loss for how to explain "where you went wrong" with respect to the relationship you have with your kids. I know that before I had my son, I had certain ideas of how parenting was going to be. I observed other parents struggling with discipline, ungrateful and disrespectful children and told myself that it would not happen to me. I could see, or at least thought that I could see what mistakes they were making. I really beleived that I would be an excellent parent and would command the love and respect that I deserved!

Needless to say, it hasn't quite worked out that way. My 8 year old is every bit as much as a handful as any kid I've seen. My struggles have been seemingly endless and my patience tried constantly. I have managed to stumble across some tips that helped me and may very well help you:

1. The hardest thing for me to learn was that my child wasn't the problem; I WAS THE PROBLEM! This may sound shocking to you who are reading this, but the truth of the matter is, if you want your child to change his behavior, then be prepared to change yours. If you yell and scream, you will raise a child who yells and screams. Remember, your child is learning his coping skills and his behavioral strategies from you!
2. Positive reinforcement goes a lot further than does negative. When you see your child doing something you like, tell him you like what he is doing and that it makes you very proud. Also, rather than say "Don't leave a mess in your room," try saying "Don't forget to pick up your room before breakfast." Then tell your child how nice the room looks and thank him for doing such a great job.
3. This one was huge in our house: learn to ignore tantrums and be prepared to just walk away. Your defiant child is used to getting a lot of attention this way and it completely disarms them. Eventually, your child will realize that tantrums don't work anymore.
4. Above all, DO NOT match their screaming with loud tones of your own. It is very important to remain calm. Another hard one for me to learn but it really works. The more calm you remain, the quicker your child wiull calm down. This works on other adults too!

I'm not a doctor or child psychologist or even a counselor. What I am is a regular parent like you probably are who struggles sometimes for answers when it comes to your kids. What I have done is spent a lot of time searching for more information about parenting tips and ideas and what works as well as what doesn't work.
Hopefully, this blog will be a valuable resource to parents everywhere.